Organise a meet up after church
Lots of single people tell us that Sunday afternoon - or Sunday evening after church - is the loneliest time of their week. A popular way of avoiding this is to get together for a meal or a drink after the service. Anyone can organise this - you don’t have to wait for a church leader to do something, and most churches welcome their members taking initiative to organise informal meet ups.
Firstly, it is a good idea to engage your church leaders who may be able to provide support, practical help or with advertising.
Try and avoid naming your group ‘singles’ as many will find it off-putting. Most social events that take place after church will naturally attract single people (and sometimes childless couples), so you don’t need to be specific.
Where to go
Find a comfortable, reasonably-priced local pub, restaurant or cafe with decent parking and public transport links. Avoid venues that charge extra for group service and require a deposit.
Alternatively, you might consider the church building (if you have one). Not everyone can afford to eat out so there should be some awareness of those who are cash-strapped. Depending on the facilities available, members of the group could take it in turns to prepare food for the others or you could organise meals on a bring-and-share basis.
If you opt for a pub or restaurant, it’s advisable to:
Regularly reserve an area for a late Sunday lunch (if it’s a morning service) so your guests have time to get to you after church
Ask for tables ideally for 6-8 people to help mixing and conversation. Avoid long banquet tables as these limit mixing
Arrange for people to pay for drinks and food individually when they order. This will avoid someone having to sort out a complicated bill and the possibility of the organiser having to pay for items guests have forgotten about. It dispenses with the problems of agreeing a tip and allows individuals to budget their own spending.
Set expectations
Manage the expectations of your guests. We know many singles wish to meet potential partners and this can unwittingly cause them to put pressure on organisers to find them. We suggest you avoid this by making it clear that it is meant to be a social gathering, not a dating group.
Use online resources to limit your admin time and cost. For example, organising your group through Meetups on Christian Connection, a free service for Christian Connection members wishing to organise informal events.
Although we recommend using Christian Connection meetups or some equivalent in order to limit those who see what you are planning to joined up members of a Christian service, you can also use the public www.meetup.com to enable people to book a place and communicate with you. It also allows you to have a number of organisers listed, so it’s easy to share the work load. People can upload their photos when they sign-up to aid recognition at events.
Promoting your event
If you use Meetups on Christian Connection, then it will be advertised directly for you on its listings and weekly email newsletter. But more important is to let those around you know. Ask that it goes onto the church's weekly notice sheet. And all the local churches too - find their addresses or emails and send them information. Most would be only too delighted to include a notice. If there is a local Christian cafe or shop, then ask to put a notice up there too.
Some churches would be willing to have a verbal encouragement from the front, at which point the organiser can stand up and be recognised. If they don't and you need to attract people, remember the tour leader's approach of holding a large laminated notice (A3) on a stick up high!! It's cheap to do in a local copy shop. Also have some way of being recognised where you are meeting. It's so easy for people to look in, find it difficult to find you and then walk away again. These little things make a difference.
And, finally, If you do do something more structured and regular, then don’t forget to let Single Friendly Church know about your group and we will add you to our own online list of organisers.